Chapter Two

The coffin, or possibly casket, rocked a bit as something rasped against it.
“We’re just getting some ropes around you, OK?” Said the orange glow voice. “Then we can lift you up and out, and get you out of that thing.’
“Take your time; I’m not going anywhere right now?” I offered, weakly. “OK, that was bad. Not funny at all.”
“No.” Said deep & slow & grey. “But it’s nice that you tried. And you’d be surprised how far even a bad joke will go in a tense situation.”
“Speaking of … ” Orange voice started, but was cut off by a yelling rasping voice.
“Head! Crow! Headcrow!! We found another primary!!”
There was a long pause as heavy footsteps approached.
“Uhhhh, hello?” I called. “Everything OK out there?”
“There should only be one primary.” Said orange glow. “That’s what the word means. How can there be two?”
“Not a clue, Headcrow, but they’re somewhere in the vaults. We’re going door to door now, because we can’t get a decent location; Something’s throwing it off.”
“Probably the whole rest of the boneyard.” Orange voice grumbled. “There are arrivals everywhere tonight. And why Headcrow?”
“That the other primary?” Asked rasping voice. “Hey, you in there! How many people were you with before you were in the box?”
“They were at an office party.” Said deep & slow & grey. “So probably a lot, but that shouldn’t cause …”
It trailed off.
“How close were you to the Eye Tee Morlock you mentioned?”
“What’s a Morlock?” Whispered raspy voice. “I thought this was a humans only thing?”
“Across the table from him.” I replied. “It was a pretty cramped restaurant, so I could have picked up his plate without stretching.”
All three voices spoke as one.
“Bollocks.”
The box started to lurch upwards, and orange glow voice tried to be reassuring.
“Look, normally we’d have a whole welcoming thing for you, and show you around, but it’s a madhouse up here, and not the fun kind, so when we get you out we’re going to need you to go straight to work. There are a bunch of other people in the same situation as you, and we need all the hands we can get.”
There was a meaningful cough, and a pause.
“I was getting to that.”
“Get there faster, Headcrow.” Said raspy. “Clock’s ticking.’
“Here’s the big thing.” Orange glow voice sighed. “When we open this box, things are going to look really weird and probably frightening to you. Normally we’d have set the scene, but we don’t have time, so all I can tell you is that you’re safe. Nothing will hurt you, nobody means you harm, and if we’re reading the situation right, there are a bunch of people who need the help only you can offer, OK?”
The box lurched & dropped onto something solid. The foot end tilted up, and raspy voice asked. “Head or feet?”
“Feet! That’s the foot end you’re lifting!”
The box dropped, and the other end lifted, slowly bringing me upright.
“That’s why I wish they’d use coffins.” Muttered raspy. “No confusion with a coffin.”
“Did everyone but me know this!?” Demanded orange glow voice.
There was some scraping at the lid, then silence.
“The next part is up to you.” Said deep & slow & grey. “We’ve unscrewed the lid, so, …, in your own time, open it and step out.”
I’d intended a calm measured opening of the box, but the urge to not be in there anymore turned that into a brute-force shove which hurled the lid open & broke one of the hinges, so that it sagged and hit me in the shin.
I didn’t really notice the impact; I was too busy staring in disbelief at the cloaked skeleton, glowing-eyed pumpkin-headed scarecrow, and actual werewolf standing in front of me.